👋 Ghostworking is the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing
Let's get odd.
Hi Oddies,
So I was doom-scrolling on the internet the other day and I stumbled across this wild trend that's apparently taking over offices everywhere:
It's called ghostworking.
If you've ever walked around your office carrying a random notebook just to look important, or typed absolute nonsense just to make keyboard clicking sounds - congrats! You're a ghostworker.
Welcome to the club that apparently 58% of American workers have joined.
Wondering what the heck this is? Let’s take a look.
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What the Heck Is Ghostworking?
Okay, so ghostworking is basically the art of looking crazy busy while doing absolutely nothing productive. Think of it as performance art, but instead of getting applause, you're trying to avoid getting fired.
We're talking about people who:
Walk around with props (hello, mysterious important folder!)
Type random words just for the click-clack sounds
Schedule fake meetings to make their calendar look packed
Master the art of looking stressed and overwhelmed at all times
It's like method acting, but for your job. And apparently, we're all Oscar-worthy performers now.
Why Are We All Becoming Workplace Actors?
Here's the tea: The job market is absolutely unhinged right now, and we're all just trying to survive.
The Layoff Anxiety Is Real - With companies cutting people left and right, everyone's paranoid about being next. So we've all become human peacocks, puffing up our productivity feathers to look too valuable to cut.
Nobody Knows What They're Supposed to Be Doing - Seriously, when's the last time you had crystal-clear job expectations? Most of us are just winging it and hoping for the best. When you don't know what "good work" looks like, looking busy becomes the default.
Everyone's Job Hunting on Company Time - Plot twist: 92% of people are literally job searching while pretending to work. Those "important calls"? Half of them are probably with recruiters. The irony is chef's kiss.
Return-to-Office Madness - Companies dragged us back to offices where we're basically in fishbowls all day. Suddenly, your manager walking by your desk 47 times becomes a performance opportunity.
The Greatest Hits of Ghostworking
Okay, let's get into the creative genius happening out there:
The Prop Master - These people have turned office supplies into Broadway-level set pieces. That stack of papers? Completely blank. The urgent folder? Contains last week's lunch receipts.
The Keyboard Composer - Creating symphonies of productivity by typing "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" 500 times. It's art, really.
The Meeting Phantom - Scheduling "strategy sessions" and "alignment calls" that are actually just 30-minute mental health breaks. Honestly? Respect.
The Stress Performer - Perfecting that "I'm drowning in important work" facial expression while actually online shopping or watching TikToks.
But Here's the Thing...
All this ghostworking? It's exhausting. Like, genuinely more tiring than actual work sometimes. Plus, it's a giant red flag that something's broken in how we're thinking about work.
What to Do Instead (That Won't Get You Fired)
For the Ghostworkers Out There:
Instead of perfecting your busy-looking face, try this radical idea: actually talk to your boss. I know, I know, terrifying. But most managers would rather know what you're actually working on than watch you stress-sweat while pretending to be important.
Document your real wins - Keep a list of actual stuff you've accomplished. Way more impressive than your keyboard percussion skills.
Ask what success looks like - If you don't know what you should be doing, ask! It's not a sign of failure; it's called communication.
Use slow time strategically - Instead of elaborate performances, use quiet periods to learn something useful or organize your actual work.
For the Managers Reading This:
Your people are literally putting on shows instead of working. That's... not great. Maybe try:
Focus on results, not activity - Care about what gets done, not how many hours someone sits at their desk looking frazzled.
Make expectations crystal clear - If your team doesn't know what success looks like, they'll default to looking successful instead.
Create psychological safety - When people are terrified of being fired, they do weird survival things like ghostworking.
The Real Talk
Look, ghostworking is hilarious and relatable, but it's also kind of sad? Like, we've all gotten so scared of being "caught" not working that we've created elaborate theater productions just to keep our jobs.
The solution isn't better ghostworking techniques (though honestly, some of y'all are creative geniuses). It's building workplaces where people feel secure enough to be honest about their workload, where expectations are clear, and where we measure impact instead of how stressed someone looks.
Until then? At least we're all in this weird performance together. And hey, if you ever need a prop notebook, I've got like 17 of them just sitting on my desk looking important.
Stay odd,
Jen Glantz
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